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The Sun Has A New Icarus

December 20th, 2011 by Will Nesbitt Leave a comment Go to comments
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A bright, golden star.
She is the Sun.
Around which all revolve.
I am the son,
Born of Wisdom
Around which all’s resolved.
I am Icarus, the hermit.

One summers day as I came from my cave, the Sun extended her rays.
Inviting me closer.
Beckoning me with the call of a mermaid in the day,
With promises of love and pleasure immeasurable.
“Be my star and shine with me.”, she commanded. An offer I could not refuse.
Resistance was futile.
For who can escape the day?

Wisdom, my father, warned,
“Do not fly too high nor soar too close, my son.
For surely you will perish.”
Duly noted.
My father knows me well. And he knows that sometimes I choose desire over truth.
He knew it was hard for me to ignore her beauty shining in the distance.
Gently grazing my face with her soft rays.
Ever so radiant and persistent.
So, he gave me the gift of doubt so that if I ever felt the urge of indecision
I would be able to discern beyond appearances.

So, I tucked my doubts away and spread my wings.
Majestically taking flight. Bursting through clouds.
Soaring high on a fantasy.
Enveloped in the passion of her heat.
Sun-kissed and held with the affection of light.
What’s the harm in this? Surely none, right?
Higher and higher I go.

Seemingly close, yet ever so distant.
There was still a ways to go.
The days kept me optimistic.
But when night appeared the moon drew near.
The moon and I drew close, becoming familiar in the darkness.
She was light, too, but only had so much for me to see. Not as bright.
Cold, quiet, and blue. Yet, she was adequate for the night.
But in the morning, my thoughts turned to the Sun.
Where could she be?
In the night, it seems, she is nowhere to be found. A sight unseen.
Where does she go? What does she do?
I know she shines on others. But shining on who?

Further and further I flew into the Queen Sun’s court.
Observing her milky ways along the way.
Her light piercing through the perpetual night surrounding her.
I am in her space learning her solar system of being.
Soaring forward to be nearer.
The rays are warmer. Energy stronger.
How much longer until I become immersed in light completely?
“Not much longer.”, she promises me.
Is my father right? Will I be consumed?
“All will be fine. This I promise you.”
Meanwhile, Wisdom continues urging me to turn about.
But, I ignore. Yes, I press forward.
Besides, what does wisdom know of light?
Don’t worry. I still have my doubts packed tight.

Now I am at the edge.
Nearing the point of no return. Standing at the door.
Scorching heat angers my pores. Forcing sweat to pour.
Her passion leaves me drenched and fatigued.
Gases bursting, erupting sporadically all over me.
Damn, it’s hot!
And my wings are starting to melt.
I thought she said I would not be consumed.
Maybe I should stop. I try, but can’t control my desire.
Her flames draw me like the moth who does not know the dangers of fire.
It only sees the light.
Why do I endure? What is this for?
Why am I here? Why do I draw near?

Steadily, my wings are melting, but I push beyond the pain.
I am slowly losing myself.
And these meteor showers aren’t helping, either.
Does it really have to be this difficult?
Too many obstacles.
I stop to rest…and to think.
Why am I doing this? Is it worth it?
I fear if I go any closer, there will be nothing left of me.
O’ dear Sun, you’re much too intense. Maybe tone it down a bit?
If I am to enter, something must surely change or else I will perish.
She smiles and says, “I love you.”
But does not acknowledge my concerns.
The Sun, it seems, has selfish tendencies. Lesson learned.
I see there is no changing the Sun.
And even in spite of the danger, I still pass on.

Suddenly, I became overwhelmed with thought.
Maybe Wisdom was right. Why didn’t I listen?
But experience is just as good, right?
I then remembered my doubts.
Good thing I kept them about me.
So, I put them over my eyes so I could see,
Things I noticed along the way, but chose to ignore.
To continue on this journey could invite my demise.
O’ Wisdom, make the Truth apparent before my eyes.

I stop and look about. Studying her solar system.
Surely, I am not the first to seek the Sun.
Then, I notice the planets. I had heard of them before.
For years they’ve revolved.
Lovers of old. At her beck and call.
They’ve been around for ages.
These were her favorites.
Worshipping. Back and forth. But keeping their distance.
Why do they not draw closer?
What do they know?
Innumerable stars surround shining in worship.
Accentuating her majesty. Twinkling flirtatiously, waiting their turn.
No, I am not the only one.

A star in her own galaxy where all court in rotation.
Even new stars and planets take form unbeknownst.
Now I see.
That even in her infinite space there is not enough room for me.
What was my purpose? Why the call?
Am I supposed to believe that I serve any purpose at all?
The answers came just as fast as the questions were asked.
Suddenly, it all became clear.

I am her hope for normalcy.
As she longs for rest.
Tired of being kept at bay by the planets.
Who only draw close for brief moments of warmth.
Tired of stars whose intentions are only to get light.
Giving little in return.
She longs for closeness. To connect.
To possibly revolve around another sun.
Tired of shining all alone.
No more rising and setting.
She is exhausted.
Burning out with age.
This is why she keeps the planets in rotation.
For they remind her of her youth.
When she was just a star herself. Innocent and bright.
And even though their love is fleeting,
It is enough to survive.
They cure the loneliness in the perpetual darkness.
Plus, she’s grown use to the adoration of the constellations.
And I was simply to be another constellation for consolation.
I had not paid attention before.
Caught up in the lie of my own fantasy,
I am thankful to Truth for setting me free.
Free from the trajectory leading straight to my destruction.
But my voyage wasn’t all for nothing.
For I have gained a valuable life lesson.

So, I stared into the Sun one last time. And reluctantly bid her goodbye.
She began to cry rays of sadness. Asking, “Why?”
What would it profit me to gain the Sun but lose my own soul?
I cannot lose my wings. They are all I have. They are my very life even.
Given to me by Wisdom that I might always fly towards the Truth, which is the true Light of my Life.
Father really does know best, I guess.
So, I must return from whence I came.
I am no star. Nor am I a planet. I am just a man.
And even though your light is essential to my life,
God gave us distance for a reason.
That neither would be harmed nor destroyed.
Existing in love and respect….but from a distance.

And just like that…I let go.
Now I’m falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Goodbye Sun.
Falling.
Falling.
Sadly looking into the Sun as the warmness fades. Energy restored to a level more familiar.

I CRASH into the Earth. So hard that I fall through.
Deep beneath the surface. Landing at its core.
And there I lie. Beneath the dirt. Still. Alone. A Hermit once more.
Pondering the lessons learned above.
Then, wisdom finds me lying there and speaks to me….

The closer you draw to a thing, the more you see.
From a distance, we cannot see what makes Light bright.
From a distance, we cannot tell what is wrong or right.
But, it’s not always necessary to be close to know.
Yet, now you do.
Trust That which is connected to all things to guide you.
You intuition has just as much knowledge as experience.
Indeed, they are both students of mine….Wisdom
Indeed, even knowing itself isn’t always necessary.
Trust in the Truth. Believe what I tell you now and let my words never part from you.
Look away from appearances. See what lies beneath.
For only the Truth is true. And all else is vanity.
Lesson learned.

So, here I shall remain.
Until my inner seed grows. Then I shall rise reborn to see a new day and fly again.
But, I still remember the Sun. She is ever a part of me.
Light and Love bind us beneath the appearance of distance.
Just as God intended.
But, she will be fine. Shine on she must.
For as I look in the sky, I see the Sun Has A New Icarus.

Peace.

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  1. Shandira
    December 20th, 2011 at 18:53 | #1

    The most beautiful story I have ever read! Thank you for sharing!!

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