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The Death Of Me

May 15th, 2011 by Will Nesbitt Leave a comment Go to comments

I’m ready to give it all up. To finally be free. To be free…of ‘me’. The ‘me’ I’ve believed my’self’ to be is of no value or use anymore. So, I choose to lose this ’self’ that ‘I’ may be something more.

I strip this self of a personality not my own. A personality written by reactions to all that is outside of me. Forged by expectation for conformity’s sake. Devoid of truth making it a ray of darkness. Caught in a cycle of cause and effect that is of no benefit. Beset by conflict.

I shed the images of what I have believed I am supposed to be. Limitations consistently forced upon me until finally becoming self-imposed.

I free myself of opinions so that I may be bound to truth. Free from opinions developed from perceptions without perspective. Not just the opinions of others, but also my own.

I burn all that I have learned about who I thought I was. Burying the ashes so that I am no longer bound by the concept of ‘me’. A concept adopted from others points of view, none of who saw me from my shoes. Concepts initially not of my choosing, but given to me until I began to choose them for myself.

I release those thoughts, things, and situations to which I have been attached that have not served my best or anyone else’s best interest.

I leave behind those who do not wish to look at the truth, be truthful or understand themselves. I leave not in animosity, but in love. But, you are more than welcome to join me.

I trade this fleeting happiness and conditional love for endless joy, peace that passes all understanding, and love without borders, rules, or restrictions.

I no longer seek outside of mySelf for that which is already within me. Now I see. And now I choose to be.

I choose to rediscover the ‘I’ before the womb when innocence was my demeanor. Before I allowed the guilt and the pressure of the world to make me meaner.

The noise of the world is my past thinking perpetuating notes of unwanted thoughts and memories like a song I hate played on repeat. The repetition causes me to forget the music within me.

This death of which I speak does not bring sleep. On the contrary…it is an awakening. It is both timely and necessary. My eyes are wide open and I see clearly. But it took this life to help me see. This life has been the death of me.

No need to mourn or miss ‘me’ when I’m gone. For what you have known has not been real or true. It is nothing more than the shadow of a greater existence. An existence brighter than the sun, beckoning my return with the intense heat of love and truth. A heat that dissolves this shadowy ‘me’ that ‘I’ may shine forth completely.

Why this ’sudden death’ you ask? It’s simple really. You see, I am no longer content with just speaking of truth. Vainly engaging in dialogue and discourse of useless knowledge, applied only in speech but not in deed. I want more. I choose more. I choose to amplify the truth through my actions…living it. But, it is necessary that I first die to self. Laying down the burden of delusion and untruth. Putting all concepts and illusions of life to death so that what is real in me may be resurrected.

I die to my’self’, that ‘I’ may live…truly live…in peace until the day I rest in peace. This life has been the death of ‘me’.

Goodbye and hello.


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