“Lay your head on my pillow/here you can be yourself/no one has to know what you are feeling/no one but me and you/I won’t tell your secrets/your secrets are safe with me/I will keep your secrets/just think of me as the pages in your diary.
I feel such a connection/even when you’re far away/baby, if there’s anything that you fear/call 489-4608 and I’ll be here/I won’t tell your secrets/your secrets are safe with me/I will keep your secrets/just think of me as the pages in your diary.”
– ‘Diary’ by Alicia Keys
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Those who know me or have taken the time to try to get to know me will tell you that I am not an open book. Which really shouldn’t be too much of a surprise seeing that a lot of men aren’t. See, we’re taught from the time we are little boys to not talk too much about our feelings and not to display too much emotion, especially hurt and pain. When we fall or get injured, we’re immediately told to ‘Stop crying!’ or ‘Be a man!’. Why? Because to show pain or sorrow goes against the concept of what a man is supposed to be. So, whatever emotions and feelings we’re experiencing at the time we’re supposed to suck it up, walk it off, and move on.
Is this healthy? Like everything else, it has its positive and its negative aspects. So, it’s not always good, not always bad. The positives would be that you don’t release or share your negative energy with others. The negatives would be that you’re keeping this energy inside of you and if you don’t know how to release or transform it, it can be damaging to your mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Every man has the need to express himself…his pain, happiness, sadness, hopes, dreams, fears, wants, needs, and his love to someone he can trust. And only to that someone who can respect, appreciate, and accept what he has to say. The song ‘Diary’ is about a woman who does the one thing that any man can appreciate…she listens. She listens and understands. She accepts this man as he is. He can be who he is (his true self) without fear of judgement or rejection because he is being ‘too emotional’. Now, that’s not to say that a man should not maintain his strength and trade in his 300 cape and abs for Haagen-Dazs and a DVD of Steel Magnolias. I mean…c’mon. I’m just saying that he should have someone to confide in with the comfort of knowing that everything he discloses to her goes no further than her ears and her heart. He can rest easy knowing that his secrets are safe with her. Because she looks beneath the surface and beyond his past to see him as he truly is at that moment….a unique creation and expression of God Himself.
A woman’s ability to handle the various aspects of a man’s nature and a man’s nature to trust that woman and allow her to be his diary speaks volumes.
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